Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. --Satchel Paige
When children are tired they make their feelings very clear. They just sit down and start to cry. As adults, we may sometimes feel like a child, ready to sit down and give up. But we're not tired children anymore. We're grown-ups, living with responsibilities and duties.
Instead of giving up, we need to find another way of handling responsibilities. To begin with, we can ask for help. There are others who can help with meals, family care, and household duties. We can also rearrange our schedules so we're not doing too much at one time and not enough at other times. Whenever we feel like giving up under the pressure of responsibilities, we can remember there are always solutions. Nothing is cast in stone unless we want it to be.
I can begin thinking about making changes in my responsibilities. I can ask for help and do some rearranging, so no day is overwhelming.
I Swapped The Demolition Derby
For A Leisurely Ride
When I first came to Al-Anon, my life was like a wrecked car that had long since been abandoned and left in a field to rust. I was looking for a quick fix to my problems, like someone looking for a new car. I did not care what it cost. If I got a new car, I would have driven it right back into the same demolition derby that was my marriage, because that was all I knew.
The members of my group took me out to the abandoned wreck that I wanted to leave in the field. They told me that this was my ride, and it was up to me to fix it. When I told them that I didn’t know how, they told me that they would give me the tools needed for the job, and help me by sharing the experience, strength, and hope they had received from the program.
The Conference Approved Literature became my repair manuals, the Al-Anon meetings the classroom, and sponsorship was the one-on-one lesson I needed to start rebuilding my life. It is slow work, doing one thing at a time—and sometimes one thing over and over until I get it right.
In working the Steps, I found the instructions to slowly fix what had been broken. It is a slow process, but I know it is worth every bit of effort I put into it.
With time, I will have a classic ride that is truly mine. Along the way I have learned how to keep it out of harm’s way, by not taking on that which is not mine to fix. By learning the difference between what I have the ability to control and what I do not have any business trying to control, I am learning how to turn my marriage into a more loving and caring relationship rather than something that resembles a demolition derby. It is not a drive in the country yet, but I now have the road maps to get me there.
By Steven R., Washington September, 2014
Reprinted with permission of The Forum
Al-Anon Family Groups Incorporated, Virginia Beach, VA
Today's Hope is a Recovery themed site with a focus on Friends and Families of Alcoholics and problem drinkers. We are not affiliated with any 12 Step program. The daily sharings contain a reading from
Al-Anon's Conference Approved publication The Forum, an inspirational quote/saying and a recovery based reading/meditation. The intent of Today's Hope is to share experience, strength and hope. Please take what you like and leave the rest.