Tuesday 4/23/24
Coming into the light Do not dwell in darkness like a night bird prey for the monsters of your imagination. Get up and seek the light, look towards the sun. – Rumi Recently, I got some devastating news and I found myself immediately slipping into what one of my friends fondly dubbed “catastrophizing.” I imagined the worst scenarios that could come from this. Fear crippled me. My immediate reaction to this, then, was to go to the complete opposite end of the spectrum and utterly ignore my feelings. This did not serve me, either. Instead, I found myself bitter and angry. Now, I am trying out the grey area between catastrophizing and denying reality. I am honoring my feelings and accepting them for what they are in the moment rather than rejecting them or speculating about the future. I accept that I feel sad and scared but choose not to let that affect my serenity. The Rehearsal
My husband and I had been separated for two years and married for 26. Our son was getting married and of course we were both invited to the wedding. Near the time of the wedding, none of us knew where my husband was, if he remembered, or if he would be there.
He showed up a few days before the wedding in order to have his tuxedo fixed. The day of the rehearsal, I knew I needed to meet with him. I had no idea what I was to say or how. I thought about the first three Steps over and over and, “I can’t. He can. I’ll let him.” The Third Step helped me to turn over the results of the weekend, and not to predict the results. I prayed, “God, guide my thoughts and guard my mouth.” We met and what came out of me, thanks to my Higher Power, was, “I know our lives are messed up as a couple—but as parents we did one heck of a job! This event is not about our mess. It is about our wonderful, loving son embarking on an important part of his journey in life.” I told my husband I would have no hit-men hiding around corners waiting to ambush him, and that I hoped we could both be there for our son. His tense face turned soft, tears fell from our eyes, and he thanked me for my grace. The rehearsal, the wedding, and the reception were such gifts from God. There was not a single moment I would have wished was any different. I asked H. P. to be with me on my shoulder for those two days, and He was. Many times I turned my head to the side and said, “Thank you God.” Had I tried to plan those days, I would have failed so miserably. Because I turned it over, God did for me what I could not do for myself. By Debee B., Oregon February, 2003 Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA. |
Today's Hope is a Recovery themed site with a focus on Friends and Families of Alcoholics and problem drinkers. We are not affiliated with any 12 Step program. The daily sharings contain a reading from
Al-Anon's Conference Approved publication The Forum, an inspirational quote/saying and a recovery based reading/meditation. The intent of Today's Hope is to share experience, strength and hope. Please take what you like and leave the rest. |