Thursday 7/25/24
Your anger? It’s telling you where you feel powerless. Your anxiety? It’s telling you that something in your life is off balance. Your fear? It’s telling you what you care about. Your apathy? It’s telling you where you’re overextended and burnt out. Your feelings aren’t random, they are messengers. And if you want to get anywhere, you need to be able to let them speak to you, and tell you what you really need. Asking for What We Need Decide what it is you want and need, and then go to the person you need it from and ask for it. Sometimes, it takes hard work and much energy to get what we want and need. We have to go through the pains of identifying what we want, then struggle to believe that we deserve it. Then, we may have to experience the disappointment of asking someone, having the person refuse us, and figuring out what to do next. Sometimes in life, getting what we want and need is not so difficult. Sometimes, all we need to do is ask. We can go to another person, or our Higher Power, and ask for what we need. But because of how difficult it can be, at times, to get what we want and need, we may get trapped in the mind set of believing it will always be that difficult. Sometimes, not wanting to go through the hassle, dreading the struggle, or out of fear, we may make getting what we want and need much more difficult than it needs to be. We may get angry before we ask, deciding that we'll never get what we want, or anticipating the "fight" we'll have to endure. By the time we talk to someone about what we want, we may be so angry that we're demanding, not asking; thus our anger triggers a power play that didn't exist except in our mind. Or we may get so worked up that we don't ask--or we waste far more energy than necessary fighting with ourselves, only to find out that the other person, or our Higher Power, is happy to give us what we want. Sometimes, we have to fight and work and wait for what we want and need. Sometimes, we can get it just by asking or stating that this is what we want. Ask. If the answer is no, or not what we want, then we can decide what to do next. Today, I will not set up a difficult situation that doesn't exist with other people, or my Higher Power, about getting what I want and need. If there is something I need from someone, I will ask first, before I struggle. Journey of Self Discovery
People saw me as a typical suburban soccer mom, but my life was crazy. I though if I worked harder maybe I could keep everything going—driving my children all over town, managing our household, working outside the home, and scheduling a social life. My husband didn’t help me, so I was usually angry with him.
Our marriage was about what he wanted and needed. In fact, my life was all about my husband and the kids. People thought we had the prefect marriage, a wonderful life, but I was deeply unhappy trying to control my husband and his behavior. I couldn’t fix my marriage, but I couldn’t stand it the way it was. Due to a crisis involving alcohol, I ended up on the AA Web site, www.alcoholics-anonymous.org, where I saw, “Is there an alcoholic in your life?” It never occurred to me that my husband might be an alcoholic, because he had given up drinking. In my on-line search, I found A-Anon’s Web site for the family and friends of alcoholics at www.al-anon.alateen.org. There I read, “In Al-Anon and Alateen, members share their experience, strength, and hope with each other. You will meet others who share your feelings and frustrations, if not your exact situation. We come together to learn a better way of life, to find happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.” As I continued searching on-line, I found a meeting schedule on a local Al-Anon Web site. During my first meeting, I was surprised to discover that Al-Anon’s simple recovery program is all about me and how to take care of myself—it isn’t about changing someone else’s behavior. The only person I have control over is myself. I am the only person I can change. I learned that someone can still be an alcoholic even if he stopped drinking. Attending meetings and listening to other members share their experience, strength, hope, and the things they do that work for them helps me. I relate to a lot of the things the members share and I try to incorporate those things into my life. In Al-Anon, I started taking care of myself and stopped trying to control things that I can’t control. I started experiencing sanity and inner peace when I stopped claiming other people’s crisis as my own. Through working the program, I’m on an incredible journey of self-discovery. I am also teaching my children about healthy relationships. I am very grateful for recovery. By: Jodi G., Rhode Island September, 2005 Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA. |
Today's Hope is a Recovery themed site with a focus on Friends and Families of Alcoholics and problem drinkers. We are not affiliated with any 12 Step program. The daily sharings contain a reading from
Al-Anon's Conference Approved publication The Forum, an inspirational quote/saying and a recovery based reading/meditation. The intent of Today's Hope is to share experience, strength and hope. Please take what you like and leave the rest. |