Daily readings from Al-Anon's Magazine The Forum • Recovery Reflections • Quote/Sayings

Wednesday 5/25/22

People don't want to be talked out of their feelings. People want to be heard, seen, felt, and understood. -Rachel Samson​​​​​

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In me there is darkness. But with you there is light.
--Dietrich Bonhoeffer

A speaker at a meeting said, "To continue something when I'm making mistakes takes emotional courage." She was talking about making a decision to turn her will and life over to her Higher Power, and how it works in her life. To keep turning our wills and our lives over to God's care moves us into unknown territory. We will make mistakes, which is why we need God's care as we experience it in the Third Step.

It's hard to keep going after we stumble, especially when we keep stumbling over and over again. With recovery and growth comes the clarity and awareness to look honestly at ourselves and our mistakes. We want to stop making them. We want to be perfect. We're impatient to change. But change doesn't work that way. Instead, a caring God cushions us when we fall, loves us without conditions, and gives us everything we need. If God can forgive us when we make a mistake, how can we not do the same?

If I fall today, I will fall into the arms of my Higher Power. And then I'll get up again.

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I Was Afraid Someone I Knew
​Would See Me at a Meeting

When someone first urged me to go to an Al-Anon meeting seven months ago, I was reluctant to say the least. I write a column for the local newspaper, so I was sure someone would recognize me from my picture in the column and “spread the word.”
 
Finally, I agreed to give Al-Anon a try.  I located a meeting two towns down the highway in hopes that no one there would know me.  As I pulled into the parking lot of the church, I vowed not to reveal anything about myself or speak during the meeting.  I just wanted to listen.
 
It was a cold winter morning.  I was the first to arrive, except for a woman who was the group chairperson.  We chatted about the weather and trivial things for a while.  When I finally realized that no one else was coming, I was almost glad.
 
I told the chairperson I would leave so as not to waste her time.  She responded by saying she would stay the whole hour whether anyone else came or not.  Then she said, “Welcome to Al-Anon.”
 
I stayed.  We talked.  That day we didn’t follow any prescribed program, we just got to know each other a little.  I felt better as I left and promised to return.
 
The following Wednesday morning, my attitude was better.  On the 30-minute drive, I was looking forward to seeing the chairperson again.  There were several cars in the parking lot, indicating that the chairperson and I wouldn’t be alone this time.
 
As I approached the door, a woman pushed it open for me.  When I thanked her, our eyes met—and locked.  We knew each other.  Who would guess that the second Al-Anon member I met would be an acquaintance?  Neither of us spoke about it as we joined the small group of women for my first real Al-Anon meeting.
 
The next week, I had to ask the woman, “Didn’t I have you in my class several years ago?”  Telling me her maiden name, she smiled and said I had been her English teacher 20 years ago.
 
After the meeting, we had lunch and caught up.  She rejoiced that she had enjoyed my class.  Our friendship as adult women began to grow.  Now we see each other regularly at another Al-Anon meeting on Saturday mornings.  If one of us isn’t there, the other calls to check in and chat.
 
By the way, the second meeting is in my hometown.  Last week, a woman at that meeting approached me and asked if I wrote a column for the local newspaper.  When she said she had read every one of my columns, I thanked her sincerely.
 
I’m no longer afraid that someone will recognize me and talk about me because I now know that no one talks about who attends or what is said outside of meetings.  At first I didn’t believe anonymity could be preserved.  But that was before I really knew what Al-Anon is all about.
 
I still attend two meetings a week, one down the highway and the other close to home.  The first is a small group where we are getting to know each other pretty well.  The second is a larger group that is more formal in structure and focuses on the Twelve Steps.  I love them both.  Each serves a purpose and fills a need.
 
If anyone had told me seven months ago that I would know such love and acceptance from a group of strangers, I would have laughed.  But now I know it’s true.

By Bonnie B., Illinois  November, 2006​​​

Reprinted with permission of The Forum
Al-Anon Family Groups Incorporated, Virginia Beach, VA

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