Tuesday 2/11/25
Do the next right thing The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. -Socrates In the program, we often hear “change your behavior to fix your thinking” or “do the next right thing.” Reading this quote, really cemented the ideas behind those two slogans for me. I realize that I often beat myself up over what I have done wrong and focus primarily on what I did in the past. Being in the program helps me to learn to be aware of and accept my past and focus on taking action and making the right choices for me in the future. I Don't Have to Pretend Anymore
In my early recovery, “pretending” was one of my biggest problems. I was so lost in denial that I didn’t even know that pretending was denial’s big sister.
I pretended because I had lost touch with the real me. I struggled to find my opinion, my likes, my dislikes, and my purpose in life. Fear of everything kept me in pretend-mode. I was embarrassed and thought that, as an adult, I should know certain things about getting along successfully in life. Instead, I went from one task to the next, wondering when someone was going to give me “my turn.” Pretending that my turn was someone else’s job gave me a false sense of security—not being responsible for myself, and not taking the risk of having an opinion. I was 30 years old before I knew what I liked on my hot dog. Finally, at 33, I quit beating my head against the wall of life expecting it to be fair, and for the people in my life to give me my due. I am so grateful that I came to believe that not every decision is a moral issue to be dissected and tested. I have the freedom to change my mind, to shrug my shoulders, and to really feel it when I say, “Oh well, I’d do it differently next time, but I learned something by taking the chance and trying it this way, this time.” Experimenting a little with daily, simple decisions has been a great way for me to widen my world safely, so I don’t have to pretend I’m okay when I’m not, or more grown-up than I really feel. By Lynn W., CA April, 2013 Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA. |
Today's Hope is a Recovery themed site with a focus on Friends and Families of Alcoholics and problem drinkers. We are not affiliated with any 12 Step program. The daily sharings contain a reading from
Al-Anon's Conference Approved publication The Forum, an inspirational quote/saying and a recovery based reading/meditation. The intent of Today's Hope is to share experience, strength and hope. Please take what you like and leave the rest. |