If your path demands you to walk thru hell, walk as if you own the place. 
Living fully here and now We are not to retreat from life, pinning our hopes on ‘elsewhere,’ but to know that we will come to that final destination best by living fully here and now, be it through joy, or pain, or a mix of both. – Madeleine L’Engle, The Rock That Is Higher I spent much of my life trying to get fulfillment and happiness from other people. I needed you to be happy so that I could be happy. I needed you to like me so that I could like me. I needed your approval so that I could approve of myself. I needed your attention so that I would not be alone with myself. You were the ‘elsewhere’ on which I pinned my hopes. Through the Steps, I am finding my way to a life that is supported from within me, with the aid of my Higher Power. I have learned that I control my own happiness, and I am not responsible for yours. The love that my Higher Power has for me is helping me to love myself. Through Steps 4-9, I see my strengths and assets, have asked my Higher Power to remove my shortcomings, and am amending my behaviors to a way of living that is consonant with my values. Step 11 is helping me to be comfortable in my skin, and to find serenity in solitude and calm. Through my continuing spiritual awakening, I spend more time living fully in the here and now, more time as myself. I find myself less in need of you to define who I am, and am thus able to enjoy your companionship for what it is, enriching rather than shaping my life. |
Making and Keeping a Commitment to Myself
My first commitment to the program was a case of God doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself. In turn, it has led me to all the commitments I have made over the years.
When I first came to Al-Anon, I was not really teachable. I came because my husband had started going to A.A., and I thought I should be supportive; otherwise, he might drink again, and it would be my fault. Isn’t it interesting that God doesn’t care why we’re here, only that we’re here? He had to trick me into being here, because I certainly saw no reason for me to come on my own. Eventually, although still in denial, I decided that I would make a commitment to myself. I would get a Sponsor and follow all of her suggestions, whether I agreed with them or not, and I would work the Steps to the best of my ability. I had been sitting in meetings sharing, talking the talk, but not walking the walk, which made me a hypocrite. My reasoning was that by making that commitment, I would get through the Steps and find that I hadn’t changed at all. This would prove that I really didn’t need the program, and thus I could in good conscience no longer feel it necessary to attend meetings. God has a sense of humor (thank goodness). I absolutely kept that commitment to myself to the very best of my ability, taking my time, attending meetings, doing service work, and when I got about half way through the Step work, I realized I had already changed. I hadn’t intended to change, nor had I made any effort to change. I had simply done the footwork required to keep my commitment. Again, God didn’t care about my motive, He only wanted me to take the actions. Taking the actions, doing the work, is what brings the results. Today, I am grateful for my commitment in spite of my ignorance and arrogance. Next month, I will be celebrating 28 years in the program, and that would not have happened had I not been able to make a commitment and keep it with an open mind. By Anonymous February, 2013 Reprinted with permission of The Forum Al-Anon Family Groups Incorporated, Virginia Beach, VA 
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Today's Hope is a Recovery themed site with a focus on Friends and Families of Alcoholics and problem drinkers. We are not affiliated with any 12 Step program. The daily sharings contain a reading from
Al-Anon's Conference Approved publication The Forum, an inspirational quote/saying and a recovery based reading/meditation. The intent of Today's Hope is to share experience, strength and hope. Please take what you like and leave the rest. |